Medical: When do you tell someone else that you have an HIV infection?

Telling someone else that you have HIV is not easy. You may have encountered a negative response in the past when you told someone. It is not pleasant if someone reacts shocked, dismissive or judgmental. If this is the response, it is usually due to a lack of knowledge: most people know very little about HIV and unfortunately there are still many prejudices and taboos surrounding the virus. This type of negative reaction therefore says nothing about you as a person. Never forget that.

Fortunately, people can react very well too, and understand and accept that you have HIV. You can share your feelings and experiences with them and get a lot of support from them.
Since you do not know in advance how someone else will react, it is quite difficult to choose the right moment. If you are unsure, you can always discuss it with your HIV consultant or pediatrician.

You are not obliged to tell anyone else; the choice is entirely yours. However, in some situations, it is wise to discuss it, for example, if there is clearly a risk of infection (through unprotected sexual contact or blood-to-blood contact).

Your doctor, nurses and other healthcare providers have an obligation to maintain professional confidentiality. They cannot tell anyone that you are HIV infected. From the age of 16, this also includes your parents, if you do not want to inform them. Doctors can inform other healthcare providers, but only if you give your consent for them to do so.

Below you will find the answers to some questions you could encounter in daily life. Questions that children with other chronic conditions also regularly ask. You can find more information about practical matters such as finances, school and work on the website of the Dutch HIV Association (HVN).

Questions and answers for school and work

Changes in legislation could mean that the answers may change.

Question	Answer
Is there an obligation to notify people?	No.
Is there a confidentiality obligation?	Yes.
Can someone else tell others that I am HIV infected?	No, nobody can tell others without your permission.
Do you have to tell your doctor, dentist or other practitioner?	No, that is not compulsory.But it can be wise. In principle, every doctor must take proper precautions to prevent HIV from being transmitted. .
Do I have to tell people that I have an HIV infection if I ring in sick at school or work?	No, that is not compulsory.
Can I take longer with my studies?	There are possibilities for extra study time in case of chronic diseases with an impact on your daily life. A statement from the doctor is required for this./td]
If my chosen study course does not suit me because it is too demanding, for example, can I switch to another course?	Yes, you can.There are possibilities for extra study time in case of chronic diseases with an impact on your daily life. A statement from the doctor is required for this.
If I work, do I have to tell my boss that I am HIV infected?	No, you do not have to.
Could I be asked about my health and sickness history during a job interview?	No, that is not allowed. However, it can be useful to mention it at a medical examination.
Is there a risk of passing on HIV to others at my work?	No, not under normal circumstances.
Can I be fired because I am HIV infected?	No, that is not allowed.
Are there any jobs that I cannot do?	No, if you take care of the hygiene regulations, there are no restrictions.
If I am HIV infected, can I work in healthcare, dentistry, catering, childcare or a hairdressing salon?	Yes, you can. However, you must follow the standard hygiene regulations and precautions in case of increased transmission risk (like open wounds), just like everyone else. /td]
Does a health insurer have to accept me?	Yes, you cannot be refused for basic insurance.
Can I also get any additional insurance?	No, it is possible that additional insurance will be refused. Certain conditions may be set.
Will I be able to buy a house and get a mortgage in the future?	Yes, that is possible. However, taking out a term life insurance policy can be problematic.

Telling someone that you have HIV is not an easy task. You may have encountered a negative response in the past when you told someone. It is not pleasant if someone reacts shocked, dismissive or judgmental. If this is the response, it is usually down to a lack of knowledge: most people know very little about HIV and unfortunately there are still many prejudices and taboos surrounding the virus. This type of negative reaction therefore says nothing about you as a person. Never forget that.

Fortunately, people can react very well too and understand and accept that you have HIV. You can share your feelings and experiences with them and get a lot of support from them.

Since you do not know in advance how someone else will react, it is quite difficult to choose the right moment. If you are unsure, you can always discuss it with your HIV consultant or pediatrician.

You are not obliged to tell anyone else; the choice and responsibility are entirely yours. However, in some situations, it is wise to discuss it, for example, if there is clearly a risk of transmitting the infection to another person (through unprotected sexual contact or blood-to-blood contact).

Your doctor, nurses and other healthcare providers have an obligation to maintain professional confidentiality. They cannot tell anyone that you are HIV positive. From the age of 16, that also includes your parents, unless you give your consent for them to be told. Doctors can inform other healthcare providers if you give your consent for them to do so.

Below you will find the answers to some questions you could encounter in daily life. Questions that children with other chronic conditions also ask themselves. You can find more information about practical matters such as finances, school and work on the website of the Dutch HIV Association (HVN).

Examples of questions and answers for school and work

Changes in future legislation could lead to changes in the answers.

Question	Answer
Is there an obligation to notify people?	No.
Is there a confidentiality obligation?	Yes.
Can someone else tell others that I am HIV positive?	No, nobody can tell others without your permission.
Do you have to tell your doctor, dentist or another practitioner?	No, that is not compulsory. In principle, every doctor must take proper precautions regarding the risk of infection.
Do I have to tell people that I have HIV if I ring in sick at school or work?	No, that is not compulsory.But it can be wise.
Can I take longer with my studies?	There are possibilities for extra study time in case of chronic diseases with an impact on your daily life. A statement from the doctor is required for this.
If my chosen study course does not suit me because it is too demanding, for example, can I switch to another course?	There are possibilities for extra study time in case of chronic diseases with an impact on your daily life. A statement from the doctor is required for this.
If I work, do I have to tell my boss that I am HIV positive?	No, that is not necessary.
Could I be asked about my health and sickness history during a job interview?	No, that is not allowed. However, it can be useful to mention it at a medical examination.
Is there a risk of passing on HIV to others at my work?	No, not under normal circumstances. If there is an injury with blood contact then there is a risk.
Can I be fired because I am HIV positive?	No, that is not allowed.
Are there any jobs that I cannot do?	No, if you take care of the hygiene regulations, there are no restrictions.
If I am HIV positive, can I work in healthcare, dentistry, catering, childcare or a hairdressing salon?	Yes, you can. However, you must follow the standard hygiene regulations and precautions in case of increased transmission risk (like open wounds), just like everyone else.
Does a health insurer have to accept me?	Yes, you cannot be refused for basic insurance.
Can I also get any additional insurance?	No, it is possible that additional insurance will be refused. Certain conditions may be set.
Will I be able to buy a house and get a mortgage in the future?	Yes, that is possible. However, taking out a term life insurance policy can be problematic.